I ate vegan Taco Bell and nothing else matters.

Are you seeing a pattern than when I don’t post, it’s usually because I haven’t eaten vegan? Yeah, I haven’t posted because I haven’t really eaten vegan. I need to eat vegan more often just so my posts are shorter. BUT I DID HAVE VEGAN TACO BELL. We’ll get to that in a about 17 paragraphs.

I created guidelines for myself last week and have been sticking to them pretty well. Kind of. It’s not my fault that last weekend was filled with new restaurants and free food! I had smoothie breakfast Friday, vegan Chipotle (which is already getting old) for lunch, and beer for dinner.

…how douchey was that?

Then I drunkenly ate fish tacos. But these are no ordinary fish tacos. These are fish tacos that were crafted by the gods just to give us a taste (lol) of what heaven is like. They’re $3 seabass tacos, so I’m not sure that even qualifies as real seabass. The fish is topped with cabbage, carrots maybe?, lime and the most perfectly ripe avocado slices you’ll ever encounter. I truly don’t understand how the avocado is always so perfect. That is the magic of this taco. There has never been a less than perfect bite in all the times I’ve eaten them, which is every time I go out, unless the food truck isn’t parked by the bars. I will never give them up no matter how vegan I become because 1. they don’t have dairy or meat meat and 2. they strategically park this by a bunch of people who have been drinking and who has that kind of self control?

The next morning I wake up hungover as usual and boyfriend and I meet up with friends for brunch. At a new place of course. So I get eggs, bacon, toast, potatoes and mimosas. The food wasn’t even that good. I actually wished I’d ordered vegan. I’m not even partially vegan yet! But I of course immediately praised myself just for having the thought. I didn’t finish my eggs, the bacon didn’t taste that great and the butter was whipped and weird on my toast. POINTS FOR ME FOR THINKING VEGAN.

After brunch, boyfriend and I napped until the engagement party we went to for friends. There was an entire friggin’ spread here. I’m talking meatballs, cookies, cheesecake bites, charcuterie board (prosciutto is a weakness of mine) and bison sandwiches. FUCKING BISON SANDWICHES. So you can imagine how that went. Then Sunday I was just plain lazy. Boyfriend went to get donuts so, free food?, we cleaned our houses and we ate hibachi for dinner. I cannot form the words to explain how much butter they put on everything, but they probably put 4 sticks of butter on the vegetables alone. It hurt my heart looking at it, but tasted soooo good. Then we got Ben & Jerry’s because the day was a wash.

So now we get to Monday. The vegan Taco Bell day. Breakfast was a smoothie and we didn’t have lunch at the office. This meant fending for myself as I have yet to grocery shop and for some reason I was craaaving TBell. That would be because I’m always craving Taco Bell. My usual order consists of a steak quesadilla (uh, steak and cheese) or a cheesy gordita crunch. Which is literally a taco wrapped in cheese. I looked online and see that you can actually get some pretty good substitutes goin’ to make it vegan. I ended up trying a 7 layer burrito (no cheese or sour cream) and mexican pizza (no beef or cheese, added onions and guac). AND THEY WERE BOTH DELICIOUS. I’ve never been a fan of refried beans and have done my best to avoid them at all costs, but this is forcing me to be more open. And I liked it. Yay. I don’t remember what I ate for dinner (it might have been shredded cheese melted on pita chips and the rest of the Ben & Jerry’s).

On Tuesday I went to Juiceland, the new love of my life, after OrangeTheory. I went with a smoothie bowl. It was good. While I was there I decided I would try one of their pre-made meals since they’re all vegan and ended up choosing the gyro. HOLY SHIT. It was so good. Instead of lamb they were made with seitan, which I’d never heard of until now, but I’m onboard. The whole thing tasted pretty much like a regular gyro, although I need to figure out a way to heat it up next time. After that, I was planning to InstaCart and cook a nice vegan meal, but life happened. Do you ever have those days at work were you feel like you’re fucking everything up and you don’t know how anyone trusts you for anything? This was one of those days. I ran out of time to shop, even online, so boyfriend brought over a pizza for dinner. I know I could’ve tried it without cheese, but the crust still wasn’t vegan so I said fuck it. But I did decide to throw spinach on it and not get meat. And look how much spinach they gave me! I’m so healthy!

What lazy ass slapped three spinaches on my pizza??

I’m glossing over yesterday because I feel like it. Had a breakfast bar and ate vegan TacoDeli (rice, beans, salsa and guac tacos) then got vegetarian Sonic for dinner because I thought I had leftover pizza, but turns out I left it on the counter and I don’t eat non-fridge pizza, and it was another insane stupid day so I just wanted to go to bed. The end.

One thought on “I ate vegan Taco Bell and nothing else matters.

  1. Sounds like you’re always thinking about being vegan which is good 🙂

    -Fish feel pain too, they just can’t scream. So technically they are ‘meat, meat’.
    -Ben & Jerry’s does vegan icecream now… Let me know what it’s like if you try it please! It’s not available in Spain yet 😦


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