This weekend was a vegan joke.

You can tell by the title that this weekend was not very vegan. That’s actually giving it too much credit; it wasn’t vegan at all. I warned you guys that this would happen, so I’m not too apologetic. But also because Corbin’s MARRIED. Nothing else mattered! The wedding was beautiful, the drinks were flowing and the food was fantastic. The last two were not limited to the wedding.

Friday morning was slightly hectic – we had to be on the road by 7:00 to pick up a friend and head to Fayetteville, AR. My mom was crazy nice and got up at 6:00 to make boyfriend and I breakfast before we hit the road. She made the Minimalist Baker vegan french toast recipe that The Crumby Vegan suggested. She actually attempted a vegan french toast recipe at six in the morning when we were in a rush. And it was GOOD. The middle was a little sketch (as in falling apart and mushy), but the edges were delish, so we could tell it would’ve been amazing with thicker bread. We also ate scrambled eggs, but I didn’t add cheese to them like I usually do. Yay.

Once we finally reached Fayetteville, we had to get ready for a bridal brunch at noon. The brunch menu had pre-fixed options, and again, not going to be the not-really-vegan asshole who requests something different. So I leaned into it and got Eggs Benedict WITH A CRABCAKE. Then they had petit fours for dessert. I looooove petit fours and hadn’t had one in years, so of course I was eating one. None of the food was vegan, but the many mimosas were. (You’ll see a theme in this post that I was a very good vegan if you count all the alcohol we drank). After brunch we had to get ready for the rehearsal + rehearsal dinner. The rehearsal was outside. At the end of July. At 5 in the afternoon. It was hot. So of course once it was over we needed alcohol. After several drinks, we sat down at the rehearsal dinner. It was beautiful, funny, touching, and came with a buffet. The buffet was salad with ranch dressing, bread + butter, cheesy pasta, chicken marsala, and creamy mashed potatoes. So good, so not vegan. The night continued with more drinking.

The next morning we all woke up hungover. I actually got a full 8 hours of sleep and still needed something greasy and heavy. So boyfriend and I walked to a nearby breakfast spot that other friends went to earlier that morning (Little Bread Company if anyone makes it to Fay and hasn’t had it already) and dear god look at this bagel sandwich:

IMG_8231
LOOK AT THAT STRING OF CHEESE. THIS WAS NOT STAGED.

It was egg, cheddar and bacon, so 100% not vegan, but 100% delicious. I also got a vegan green tea latte, so, balance, right? After that, all the bridesmaids headed to the venue to start getting ready and we were greeted with, guess what, more alcohol! I don’t think anyone has ever not used the “hair of the dog” excuse, so we were somewhat immediately into the mimosas. The food provided was chicken and pasta salad, but we didn’t really eat that much with the craziness of the day. So after many pictures and the ceremony, we were starving. The catered food was sooo goood. And not vegan. They had bbq bacon pulled pork sandwiches, sliders, and chicken + waffles. And alcohol. We all went out after the reception and I found myself at a food truck ordering a gyro. I had other options, but was too drunk to care (sorry). It was also delicious.

The next morning before we headed back to Austin, we stopped at Arsaga’s for breakfast. This place was amazing. I had fried eggs, potatoes with aioli, sourdough toast with butter, and we all split a chocolate crepe. This was possible one of the best breakfasts I’ve ever had. But guess what I did?? Instead of the freaking fantastic bacon they had (I know this because I tried boyfriend’s), I ordered vegan sausage. And it was decent! Couldn’t trick me into thinking it was meat, but the flavor was there for sure. Once we got back to Austin we needed food, but it was 10 o’clock at night, so we were limited. We ended up getting Sonic (I’ve mentioned their grilled cheese) and it was kind of a waste of a non-vegan meal. But it was that or Popeyes, so I’m pretty proud.

Then Monday came. All my non-vegan eating caught up with me and I was NOT well. I skipped breakfast, which I never do, and opted for a Sprite (vegan!). For an early lunch I had a chicken sub – not good, but bland. Then I really fucked up. I’m assuming I’m some sort of masochist because when dinner came around I wanted nothing more than Shake Shack. This is one of my goodbye meals, so I knew it would happen at some point. I get the cheeseburger, fries and chocolate shake. It was so good I might cry thinking about it. If anyone eats this food please call me and describe it. Or if you’re in Austin let me come smell it. Not surprisingly, I woke up this morning still ill, so I skipped my workout. I decided to be super lazy and have Fruity Pebble for breakfast. For lunch I continued the lazy and ate some terrible frozen pasta meal I found in my freezer – I avoided the chicken in it and sobbed to myself on my couch. After feeling like a failure of a vegan (person?), I decided I would cook a vegan meal. I realized this morning that I forgot to cancel my Instacart free trial, so like any responsible adult I was now on the hook for a $150 yearly subscription for something I don’t plan to use. But it worked out for today and I tried Minimalist Baker’s Garlic White Wine Pasta with Brussels Sprouts. Here’s their picture of what it looked like because it’s much prettier than mine:

And for dessert boyfriend talked me out of getting Baskin Robbins and I settled for Nada Moo – which is really good, just not Baskin Robbins. So today was somewhat successful. VERY successful compared to the weekend, so I hope I’m catching this week early enough to turn it around. We’ll see.

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